endings

Amongst the vending machines and year old magazines
in a place where we only say good-bye
It stung like a violent wind that our memories
depend on a faulty camera in our mind
But I knew that you were a truth that I would rather lose
than to have never lain beside at all.
-Death Cab for Cutie

i have friends where i have found truth and beauty.
They are people who with out knowing it
have transformed me.

last night i said good-bye to some of these people

For the first time in my life i feel as if i have lost something beautiful
in friends that i can never get back

they are all going off and starting masters programs and universities around the country
and i am here.

i feel as if they have walked off with dreams
and have plans and goals
and i am lost

it was grad last night
and i think it will be my last official function that i participate in with the College
it was an end for all of us
yet they walked away with a degree
and i walked away empty

i tell myself that my plans are not lost
they are just on hold for a few years
i hope that when the time comes for me
to pick them up again
i will have the courage
to follow through

my friends are gone and i will miss the comfort of their presence
what can be said about a night like last night
when an entire piece of my world passed out of my grasp
and i have no choice but to move on