how do you begin to explain a life
that has never been spoken of
only whispered of in the darkest places of fear
never realized
the conclusions and final destinations blocked by everything you don't want to ever let cross your mind, become concrete in the space of reality.
how do you articulate what has happed
after the world has come to an end.
Long Black Limousine, Shiniest Car I've Ever Seen
Heavy sun
Heavy lashes and a beat up car door
Breaks scraping and the choking sound of a bird’s death
Throwing up on a strange and familiar highway
Without words or voices or windy tires
This was never my fault
This was your victory
Crashing through the crowds until you were satisfied
Leaving your children in a bloody fermenting pool behind you
On to the next
On to the roping in and the churning out
I want to make you hurt so badly
I want you to be alone and abandoned and aching
For you have set me on fire in your doorway so many times
You have taken and taken and taken again
Any hope that I held like a burning rope in my hands threaded through my gut
Your sword of diseases
You are the cold
You are the homeless winter
You have stricken me with grief
And forced me to walk with shame
I am your daughter but you
You were never mine
I wish I could rip the poetry from your heart and turn it to dust
You have lost me
You have beaten me
and finally I have had enough
your ragged life is no fault of mine
All of your children have gone missing
-Elise Fleury
the reality of my mother, of myself, of my family.
I have lost.
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