they've all gone to look for america

There has not been time this week to sit down and rest my weary thoughts. The good news is that I bought a car charger so I have been driving around all week trying to charge my phone. I am glad that my mom is coming to Calgary tomorrow so that I can get my other charger back.

In other news I have been feeling so restless and stuck lately. I spent the week in Brooks last week and it was good to be home. I love to be home but I hate Brooks. I think I would move home if my family was not from such a stinky town. (literally) But on the other hand I love being there. I love being able to see people and be surrounded by my family and Jeremy's family. I would love to feel at home in the town I live in. I would love to go to a church where there is genuine community and we are known and loved. It is so hard to go back to calgary and be alone just me and Evie all day long for most of the days. I want to belong. I want to feel like I am home. I want something else.
I am stuck because Jeremy could never find a job in his specific field anywhere but a major center (Vancouver, Calgary, Ottawa etc.) and I am not moving to any of those other places. I would never ask him to give up what he loves to do for a living. (Or what he went to university for 5 years for and worked for another 4 to get his Peng. ) But in Calgary we never get ahead. The cost of living has really for all intents and purposes doubled in the last 5 years. The average price of a house had more than doubled. So no matter how many raises he gets it seems like we are always just above the water. I am tired to living like in a place that makes it seem like everyone has everything yet I can't imagine how anyone lives in this city. Jerm is a professional and make really really good money and yet the thought of getting into a $400,000 mortgage makes me want to sit down and cry. And the strange thing is that in this city you can get a shack for 275,000 or a really nice house for 350,00 to 400,000. So there is no winning.
frick , frick , frick, here come the fricks,
It seems like we can't live how we want.